Camp Good Grief held at Camp Pa-Qua-Tuck

East End Hospice’s Camp Good Grief was established in 1997 with the vision to combine traditional camp fun with a variety of therapeutic modalities to help children, ages 4 to 17, process and adapt to the loss of a loved one.

It is eastern Long Island’s only camp dedicated to supporting children who have experienced the loss of a loved one. It is held annually, each summer, and is free of charge for all participants. This year, over 150 campers participated for the 28th annual four-day session from July 22 to 25, in partnership with Camp Pa-Qua-Tuck in Center Moriches, where it is held.

The camp, which has specifically designed therapeutic curriculum mixed with traditional camp activities, is run by over 100 staff and trained volunteers, who lead campers through activities—group therapy, structured play, art, and music therapy—that give them tools to cope with loss.

Camp director Angela Byrns, the clinical social work supervisor and children’s bereavement coordinator, has worked at EEH for 20 years. Planning, she said, takes place year-round, interviewing volunteers and staff to be trained specifically for the camp.

The camp, she said, is staffed with 15 group therapists (social workers or psychologists), art therapists and interns, music therapists and interns, pet therapy dogs, nurses, 15 support staff, and about 100-plus adult and youth volunteers.

“Many youth volunteers have been campers themselves and over the years have now continued as adults,” she said.

Volunteer Stuart Wood, of Moriches, said he has been involved as a co-leader since 2016.

“I think of Camp Good Grief as one of the most important things I do all year because I see the changes it produces in the participants,” he said of the uplifting experience. “The kids have exuberant fun—kayaking, swimming, playing Gaga Ball and just running—but the tears and seriousness come out in the small group therapy sessions.”

Quintin Dunn has also been volunteering for two years; he was a camper at the age of 8. He volunteers, he said, because he understands what the kids are going through and he knows firsthand how much going to Camp Good Grief can help children learn they are not alone.

“Camp Good Grief is a place where kids who may feel lost can all come together, and while going through something that is likely the hardest thing they’ve ever gone through, can realize there is light at the end of the tunnel,” he said.

Another volunteer, Dresden Dunn, has been volunteering at the camp for five years.

“Camp Good Grief allows children to truly express their emotions and grief, which can be difficult in other settings,” she said. “As a volunteer in the youngest age group at camp, I have been able to observe children, who may have been nervous at first, be able to connect with other children and realize they are not grieving alone. Through various therapeutic activities such as music therapy, art therapy, and small group therapy, children realize that the emotions and behaviors they are experiencing in their grief process are valid and are experienced by other people.”

Dunn’s favorite part about the camp is Memory Day. On the week of camp, Thursday is considered Memory Day. Memory Day is when campers can bring in a memento such as a photograph, stuffed animal, baseball hat, or anything connected to their loved one. Then, during the day, children have an opportunity to share with their group anything about their loved ones.

“All of the therapeutic activities/directives are well thought out and reviewed each year and then put together for the group leaders, while also collaborating with art and music therapy,” said Byrns.

While at camp, children are able to discover they are not alone in their grief—every child there has been through a life-changing experience. The camp also teaches grounding techniques and other coping mechanisms while mixing in fun actives as well. Professionals also go through the grieving process and how it will continue at home.

The main focus of the camp is to bring children together, encourage them to express difficult feelings, and reduce the risk of complicated grief, which affects 10 to 15 percent of grievers. Camp Good Grief campers are less likely to develop depression, suicidal thoughts or behaviors, anxiety, long-term difficulty with daily activity, and alcohol or substance abuse.

However, according to East End Hospice professionals, there is no right or wrong way to grieve. It is important to allow children to grieve in their own way and their own time. They may seesaw in and out of grief, needing time to play and have fun as well as to cry.

“Despite the difficulty of being with grieving children and hearing their experiences, everyone involved will tell you it is an amazing experience that they learn from and feel privileged to be a part of,” Byrns said. “Camp is my favorite week of the year and it’s hard to put into words what makes camp so special. For one thing, it helps kids to not feel so alone; they begin to see that there are other people who have experienced something similar. They don’t feel different or get made fun of. They aren’t shamed or quieted for wanting to talk about their person and share how special they are, and they also aren’t shamed or told what feelings and expressions of grief they should or shouldn’t have.”

“They begin to learn to put words to the very difficult emotions they are having and learn different ways of coping with these that they can use and adapt as they get older and can developmentally process things; they can take with them their experiences and apply later as other deaths occur. As campers take this with them, it can help the whole family to begin to heal and help them stay connected to the deceased, which is an important part of the grieving process.”

Fundraisers are held for camp since it is free of charge and the cost for each camper to attend is over $1,500. East End Hospice also offers support with individual and group bereavement counseling sessions. This winter, they will also host Coping Through the Holidays, the Camp Good Grief Reunion, and their annual tree-lighting events.

ABOUT EEH’s BEREAVEMENT CENTER

East End Hospice’s Zinberg Family Bereavement Center offers individual, group, art, music, pet and equine therapy, and special programs for adults and children. Therapy sessions are offered at EEH’s Zinberg Family Bereavement Center, Westhampton Beach, NY, and other select locations across the East End, by phone, virtually, and in partnership with Spirit’s Promise Equine Rescue, Riverhead, N.Y. The year-round Bereavement Program is community oriented.
There are no eligibility restrictions. Anyone may receive the services. This includes EEH patient families and friends, as well as individuals referred by a vast network of community partners, including area school districts, health and human service agencies, religious groups, and clinical partners. All services are offered free of charge. Philanthropic funding underwrites all costs associated with bereavement programming.

ABOUT EAST END HOSPICE

East End Hospice is Eastern Long Island’s only independent, not-for-profit hospice provider. Nurses, social workers, aides, volunteers, and staff care for more than 800 terminally ill patients; support caregivers, family, and friends; and provide grief and bereavement services to hundreds of community members each year.

East End Hospice offers home hospice, inpatient care at the region’s only dedicated hospice facility, and grief and bereavement services for adults and children. Our services reach people across 450+ square miles and are free to patients or their families.

Philanthropy improves lives across the East End through programs and services that would otherwise not be possible. To learn more about opportunities to support East End Hospice or Camp Good Grief, contact Emily K. Madsen, at 631.288.7080 or emadsen@eeh.org.

East End Hospice is a registered 501 (c) 3 charitable organization, tax ID number 11-2878502. Contributions are tax-deductible to the extent allowed by law. Donate online, at https://www.eeh.org/ways-to-give/donate/?tab=Donate or by phone, at 631.288.7080.