Emily Finn Foundation takes action after tragedy

Family, friends, and community members are honoring the legacy of dancer and aspiring teacher Emily Finn of West Sayville, by advocating for domestic violence education through a foundation in the 18-year-old’s name.

The Emily Finn Foundation has already hosted community events and fundraisers to support the emerging nonprofit’s launch, and now, the group is organizing volunteers and initiatives to better educate young people on domestic and teen dating violence. Finn was shot and killed by her ex-boyfriend last November, according to Suffolk County police.

With the school year beginning, the young dancer’s family is aiming to educate children locally about what healthy relationships look like, while keeping an eye out for potential legislation mandating domestic violence education and training.

“Emily was going to be a teacher, and she’s still affecting many children’s lives in a positive way,” said Emily Finn’s mother, Cliantha Miller-Finn. “I just feel
that my job going forward is to make sure that happens and to carry out her legacy... to help prevent future tragedies.”

To raise awareness, the Emily Finn Foundation will launch its “Love, Emily,” campaign throughout Domestic Violence Awareness Month in October. The foundation will visit Cherry Avenue Elementary School, where Finn attended and later taught pre-K, to teach children about social-emotional learning.

Around the time the young dancer would have celebrated her 19th birthday, Oct. 15, the foundation will also host a walk/run event, alongside a virtual walk/run event hosted by SUNY Oneonta, where she attended.

Miller-Finn next week will be speaking alongside speakers including Tara Petito, mother of Gabby Petito, who died in 2021, at a domestic violence awareness and prevention reception hosted by the Empowerment Project, in California. There, Miller-Finn said she wants to emphasize the need for identifying abusive digital relationships, since the signs often go unseen by family and friends, and even victims themselves.

“The education that’s out there already is not that relevant to the teens today, because [the digital piece] didn’t exist years ago,” Miller-Finn said. 

Social media apps like Snapchat, Miller-Finn said, train children to receive instant gratification, and its constant presence makes it harder for young people to take social breaks, especially when situations turn toxic. Visiting elementary schools is also important to Miller-Finn, since some district personnel told her that students begin virtual relationships as early as fourth and fifth grade.

While school visits can be meaningful, the Emily Finn Foundation is aiming even higher in its goal to prevent domestic violence, by going to the state legislature.

“We’re trying to back all of the initiatives with something that will give them some grit, like legislation that requires the state to offer specific age appropriate dating violence prevention,” said Emily Finn Foundation member and social worker Alyson Ryan.

In the last few weeks, the Emily Finn Foundation has already identified bills in the State Senate that have been stuck in committee, including one, S3719, which would require school districts to “create policies, procedures, and guidelines” in grades K-12 to prevent and address incidents of teen dating violence

The bill, sponsored by State Sen. Andrew Lanza (R-Staten Island), has been introduced in some form six times since 2015, never leaving the Senate’s Education committee.

State Sen. Dean Murrary (R-East Patchogue) is a co-sponsor on the bill, and said legislation like S3719 can become “one-house wonders” since at least 1,000 bills are often introduced in a six-month period. The exact bill would need sponsors in the assembly to pass in that chamber, which has yet to happen.

“As much as we try to flag things, sometimes we just don’t know that something is out there,” Murray said. “So it is very helpful to have outside groups and organizations, and that’s why it’s important that we meet with them and talk with them and engage with them.”

Another bill the foundation identified is S10380, sponsored by State Sen. Monica Martinez (D-Brentwood), which would require domestic violence coursework and continuing education for psychology, social worker, and mental health counseling applicants.

“Domestic violence throughout New York is such a pervasive public health and safety issue, and it affects hundreds of thousands of New Yorkers annually,” said Tara Berdolt, deputy legislative director for State Sen. Martinez, who met with members of the Emily Finn Foundation regarding the bill. “With our bill, some of the first people that [victims] are seeing are mental health professionals, and so I think it’s really important that they’re equipped with the right tools.”

Social worker Ryan said she’s had instances where fellow clinicians haven’t identified signs of coercive control or intimidation in relationships just because a situation didn’t follow a textbook example of physical violence. Ryan said alongside state legislation, she also wants to build a network of awareness initiatives in the Town of Islip, which could hopefully be a model for other municipalities.

Berdolt said she looks forward to working with other legislators and organizations like the Emily Finn Foundation to advance domestic violence  billslike S10380 and S3719 at the start of the next legislative session in January.

Emily Finn Foundation members like Miller-Finn and interim executive director Sylvia Sewell added that they want to work with both parties in passing meaningful legislation, and have been in touch with politicians like State Assembly candidate Trish Kopp and Suffolk County Legis. Nick Caracappa.

On Nov. 29, one year after Finn’s death, the Emily Finn Foundation will host its inaugural gala at the Bourne Mansion in West Sayville, culminating a busy first year of activism. Tickets and information will be available at a later date at www.emilyfinnfoundation.org.

“I didn’t wake up one day saying I want to have a foundation,” Miller-Finn, who had been building the organization up using just her phone until recently, said. “This developed out of a need, because so many people came to the surface, and feel really strongly that there’s a need for education and awareness... We’re gonna make some difference in somebody’s life.”